I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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