had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
