do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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