I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
