I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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