i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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