Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
dude. I can hear the air.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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