The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
