Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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