my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
