is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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