you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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