My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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