that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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