the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
