You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
