Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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