just come out here and I will go home with you...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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