She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
