I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
