We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
3 2 1 whiskey
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
