I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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