so that wasnt chicken after all
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
