Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
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I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize