I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
