if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
