She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
