the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I want to fling myself into the sun
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
