Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
