At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
