Who wears a wallet chain?!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
