Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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