Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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