walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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