You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
