his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
