I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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