I met the friendliest cop last night
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
