Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
