I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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