so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize