If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize