Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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