I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
