This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
