So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I want her autograph on my taint
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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