i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
