I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
