too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
