Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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