why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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