I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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