I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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